I Let It Fall: My Heart.
There are only so many times we can do the same thing over and over before we come to the realization that we have gone mad.
Perhaps I am mad.
Who I Am
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Quote reblogged from excessive bookshelfWe have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.Kurt Vonnegut (via excessivebookshelf)
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Adoro esse cara.
Jorge Luis Borges
“There’s something magic: I still keep on buying books. I can’t read them, but their presence help me… that silent gravitation. To feel they are there.”
“Hay algo mágico: yo continúo comprando libros. No puedo leerlos, pero la presencia de los libros me ayuda… esa gravitación silenciosa. Sentir que están ahí.”
Photo: Jorge Luis Borges visiting Edgar Allan Poe’s tomb.
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There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love.Christopher Morley; Pipefuls (via wordpainting)
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Photoset reblogged from Fuck Yeah, Book Arts!
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Today was a day just like any other, except for the part where it wasn’t.
(Of course.)
My boyfriend, Sean, works for a company where he has to travel quite a bit, and today like every other week or so, he had to leave for Las Vegas. Before I took him to the airport, though, he wanted to head over and finish up some paperwork with his insurance, then catch lunch with one of his friends who lives over in that area. Thinking nothing of it, I agreed, got dressed and we headed off to his hometown, which is only about 15 minutes away from our apartment.
We went to the insurance company first, to get it out of the way, and since we were planning on starting a renter’s insurance policy together, I went in with him to add my name to the account. No big. We just got our first place together, afterall, and even though our complex is really nice, you can never be too safe, right? Well, the first thing he says is, “Yeah, I need to change my beneficiaries on my life insurance today. Oh, and we’d like to set up renter’s insurance.” I’m still not even thinking that this is important or involving me, so I’m checking my phone and making small talk with the agent, etc. We set up the renter’s insurance, yadda yadda. Then when she asks for his paper that he filled out about his new beneficiaries, I just happen to glance at it, and…
…he had just made me his primary beneficiary, his mother as his second.
It felt like the entire world had stood still in that moment. I stopped breathing, and inside my heart was beating a thousand miles per hour. Why was he doing this? Is he sick? Does he think something’s going to happen? Why me? We’re not even engaged yet! Does this mean that he’s going to propose soon? I didn’t think people did this until they were married! The engagement, wedding, honeymoon, shebang — and then they go out and set up the life policies.
As we walk out I asked him, trying to feign complete innocence, of course: “Did you just make me your primary?” And in true Sean fashion he just shrugged like the whole situation wasn’t a big deal, but in Sean speak that means “well, duh. I love you.” And as I start to breathe again I begin stuttering out my questions. He played the whole situation off by saying things like, “They’ve been bugging me to update it… It just made the most sense to put you on it…” etc. But his eyes were crinkled with warmth and truth, his mouth in slight sideways smirk the entire he gave me his schpiel of why it “Wasn’t A Big Deal” when his features proved It Was A Big Deal.
Now, this wasn’t the moment where I just realized how much I loved this man, and OHMYGODWE’REGOINGTOSPENDFOREVERTOGETHER or anything like that. My love for Sean has been building to ridiculous heights over the past 2 years that we’ve been together. He makes me feel worthy of love, beautiful, and above all else, completes me in a way that I never knew I even needed. And over our 2 years together so far I have only doubted his love for me here and there and they were always few and far between during boughts of insecurity. But today… Today I feel like Sean basically handed me his entire heart on a platter saying, “I love you. I trust you. And I want to take care of you.”
It seems silly, I’m sure, but… I have no doubts. I have no misguided dreams for other loves. I have found the one thing I need in this world, and that just so happens to be him. And the other things I need or want? Like my writing, my career, my strength? They have all strengthened with this completion to my life. I may not be where I always wanted to be, but I am definitely where I need to be.
I’ve never felt so lucky to be young and in love.
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Photo reblogged from A Moth Eaten Musical Brocade
![liquidnight:
Ansel Adams
Road after Rain
Northern California, 1960
[From the Metropolitan Museum of Art]
It was one of those mornings where you couldn’t tell if it rained or if the light sheen of dew was just thicker than usual. The sun wasn’t in sight on the horizon, yet the world was full of light, a dreamy mist hovering over everything in creation. When he opened the door to their beast of a machine, the noise rang out like a gunshot and a few blue jays flew up, up and away from the tree lining the driveway. She rolled her eyes and he comically shrugged. Before she opened her own door, though, she took a minute to breathe in the calm. It felt as if the earth was breathing like an infant asleep, lost in it’s dream world, able to wake at a moments notice. When she breathed, it breathed, and that’s all that the world contained in that moment.
The crawled into the car and once the engine roared to life they set out on their journey. They watched as the sun rose up, finally, as they made their way to a nowhere. The entire day was spent on gravel roads, mud lined streets, and bits of asphalt checkered off here and there. The floorboard was littered with half listened to cassettes and windows stayed rolled down even when the rain began to come down. They through young arms out into the onslaught and laughed at the chill. With the back roads to themselves they spout poetry at one another, or just shared the silence with the livestock they passed, waving in friendly dischord. When the rain began to let up, she urged him to pull over and when he did, she jumped out, shaking out the nerves in her limbs. Between the light shower and the setting of the sun, the world was almost gray. She bounced on her toes, letting the drops to land in plops here and there upon her body. Her skin raised in goosebumps. Her eyes closed and the rain felt like tears.
A car door opens. She feels his warmth next to her, and she wonders does he feel the chill? Does he feel a warmth?
Then, there, on the side of a muddy road in the middle of nowhere, two lovers entwined fingers and gazed at the gray world around them, the rain coming to a slow stop. Her head eased onto his shoulder, his lips caressed her crown. And together, they breathed the same breath as the world around them.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyp990Bntv1qzhl9eo1_500.jpg)
Road after Rain
Northern California, 1960
[From the Metropolitan Museum of Art]
It was one of those mornings where you couldn’t tell if it rained or if the light sheen of dew was just thicker than usual. The sun wasn’t in sight on the horizon, yet the world was full of light, a dreamy mist hovering over everything in creation. When he opened the door to their beast of a machine, the noise rang out like a gunshot and a few blue jays flew up, up and away from the tree lining the driveway. She rolled her eyes and he comically shrugged. Before she opened her own door, though, she took a minute to breathe in the calm. It felt as if the earth was breathing like an infant asleep, lost in it’s dream world, able to wake at a moments notice. When she breathed, it breathed, and that’s all that the world contained in that moment.
The crawled into the car and once the engine roared to life they set out on their journey. They watched as the sun rose up, finally, as they made their way to a nowhere. The entire day was spent on gravel roads, mud lined streets, and bits of asphalt checkered off here and there. The floorboard was littered with half listened to cassettes and windows stayed rolled down even when the rain began to come down. They through young arms out into the onslaught and laughed at the chill. With the back roads to themselves they spout poetry at one another, or just shared the silence with the livestock they passed, waving in friendly dischord. When the rain began to let up, she urged him to pull over and when he did, she jumped out, shaking out the nerves in her limbs. Between the light shower and the setting of the sun, the world was almost gray. She bounced on her toes, letting the drops to land in plops here and there upon her body. Her skin raised in goosebumps. Her eyes closed and the rain felt like tears.
A car door opens. She feels his warmth next to her, and she wonders does he feel the chill? Does he feel a warmth?
Then, there, on the side of a muddy road in the middle of nowhere, two lovers entwined fingers and gazed at the gray world around them, the rain coming to a slow stop. Her head eased onto his shoulder, his lips caressed her crown. And together, they breathed the same breath as the world around them.
![liquidnight:
Ansel Adams
Road after Rain
Northern California, 1960
[From the Metropolitan Museum of Art]
It was one of those mornings where you couldn’t tell if it rained or if the light sheen of dew was just thicker than usual. The sun wasn’t in sight on the horizon, yet the world was full of light, a dreamy mist hovering over everything in creation. When he opened the door to their beast of a machine, the noise rang out like a gunshot and a few blue jays flew up, up and away from the tree lining the driveway. She rolled her eyes and he comically shrugged. Before she opened her own door, though, she took a minute to breathe in the calm. It felt as if the earth was breathing like an infant asleep, lost in it’s dream world, able to wake at a moments notice. When she breathed, it breathed, and that’s all that the world contained in that moment.
The crawled into the car and once the engine roared to life they set out on their journey. They watched as the sun rose up, finally, as they made their way to a nowhere. The entire day was spent on gravel roads, mud lined streets, and bits of asphalt checkered off here and there. The floorboard was littered with half listened to cassettes and windows stayed rolled down even when the rain began to come down. They through young arms out into the onslaught and laughed at the chill. With the back roads to themselves they spout poetry at one another, or just shared the silence with the livestock they passed, waving in friendly dischord. When the rain began to let up, she urged him to pull over and when he did, she jumped out, shaking out the nerves in her limbs. Between the light shower and the setting of the sun, the world was almost gray. She bounced on her toes, letting the drops to land in plops here and there upon her body. Her skin raised in goosebumps. Her eyes closed and the rain felt like tears.
A car door opens. She feels his warmth next to her, and she wonders does he feel the chill? Does he feel a warmth?
Then, there, on the side of a muddy road in the middle of nowhere, two lovers entwined fingers and gazed at the gray world around them, the rain coming to a slow stop. Her head eased onto his shoulder, his lips caressed her crown. And together, they breathed the same breath as the world around them.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyp990Bntv1qzhl9eo1_1280.jpg)
